


Blue's Baby Bones

by RavenZaphara



Series: Soul-Searcher AUs [1]
Category: Babybones (Fandom), Underswap (Fandom), Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: "GRILLBY HELP THIS IS NOT WHAT I EXPECTED", A lot - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Underswap, Angst, Babybones, Babybones (Undertale), Birth, Blue hates Toriel, Blue needs to chill tf out, But you should be able to get the gist of everything without reading Soul-Searcher, DIRECTLY RELATED TO MY OTHER FIC, Fluff, Gaster died instead of Blue, Grillby is amazing fire-uncle, Grillby is gay af, Help there are feels in this fic, However I would still advise it because everything would make a helluva lot more sense, I mean there were SUPPOSED to be feels, Just not this many, M/M, Muffet is so done, Muffet is the wine-aunt, PLOT EVERYWHERE!, Pre-Void and Post-Void, ROBO RAPTOR, Sans and Papyrus growing up in the lab, The cake was not a lie, Tune in next time for:, Underswap Papyrus, Underswap Sans, adorable baby skeletons, but perhaps it should have been, childproofing, cuteness, happily, it's sad, like one thousand percent done, proverbial angel-dad, sentient gaster blasters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2018-07-18 23:48:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7335931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenZaphara/pseuds/RavenZaphara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the Underswap version of Soul-Searcher, the skelebros actually had a childhood. With a parent. </p><p>BlueDad is simultaneously the best and worst Dad ever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Grief and Giddiness

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, if you have not read Soul-Searcher, be welcome! If there is something you don't understand, feel free to ask me, I will not mind at all!
> 
> There will be spoilers to Soul-Searcher (minor ones) and Someone I Can Trust (which I haven't released yet...)
> 
> Trigger warnings: Death, Grief, Intense Profanity
> 
> If you want to read more about how Blue and Gaster's relationship was, the Original (non swap version) can be found HERE: http://archiveofourown.org/works/6545836/chapters/14975902

Blue stared at the pods with the growing ~~creatures~~ children, and felt some sort of bitterness. Gaster would never see them. They would never know him—

“fuck that, i’ll keep trying.” He took out Gaster’s blueprint paper and began scribbling furiously. “you fucking asshole, why is everything in cipher?” He groused, pretending that he wasn’t still crying.

Toriel cleared her throat from the doorway. Blue looked up sharply and bit his lips. She looked remorseful enough that he nodded to her. He could hear her out—didn’t mean he had to forgive her. He was under a fuckton of pressure now, and she certainly wouldn’t help.

“I… didn’t understand that the two of you were so close.” She said from near the doorway, standing next to the meager table.

“bullshit.”

She didn’t react. “I don’t think you knew this… did Gaster ever talk about the war?”

Blue shook his head. “and i don’t wanna hear you say that the war changed you. _asgore_ didn’t try to kill me.”

Toriel looked away, a wry smirk on her face. “The war changed me, yes… but that’s not what I wanted to say to you. It was never my intention to kill Gaster.”

“then why the fuck did you do it?”

“He… took the damage for you. It was not my choice!”

“you shouldn’t have pressured him. killing me won’t bring your kid back, won’t bring asgore out of the ruins, won’t take back the fact that one of the few true allies you had left is fucking gone because you decided you couldn’t wait a few decades for me to just die on my own.”

“And what if you staying alive, with him, led to your soul being null and void against the barrier? We can’t afford to let your soul slip through our fingers!”

“heh… we don’t have to worry about that now, do we?” He growled. His head was starting to hurt. Absently, he touched the scar over his right eye. “Leave me to my work, would you?”

She paused. “I need to know what you think would be best to put his dust on.”

“bring it to me.”

“I can’t do that. I know how mages are made, and I won’t let that happen.”

“i have no desire to kill any of you. if i did, you’d have seen a trail of dust when you found me. i had ample opportunity to kill a lot of you—and i haven’t. you know why? cuz i’m not a piece of fucking shit.”

She flinched but didn’t argue. “What would he want to live on in?”

Blue’s mouth quirked the tiniest bit. “ignoring my initial response, in all seriousness, your fucking _majesty_ he’d most like to be in his work.” He gestured to the machine behind him. “this one, in particular, if you’d be so fucking kind.”

She didn’t look happy but once again kept her pride down. Blue decided to twist the metaphoric knife. “asgore blames himself for a lot of the shit you do. he even blames himself for your kids dying. and when he figures out i’m not coming back, he’ll hate himself even more. you know that? does that make your hateful ass happy?”

She ignored the words as if she heard them from her own mouth frequently. She hesitated and then placed a pie on the counter before backing out. “I’m not a fool, human. With Gaster gone, I can’t afford to kill you until I can find a replacement for him. No one… will be able to fill those shoes… but perhaps we can find someone who will do well enough. You have until his replacement is trained and ready to fill the position.”

“fair enough.” He grumbled, and only sheer willpower kept his eyes from darting to the tubes that Toriel hadn’t seen. Looking now might draw her attention. Blue wasn’t ready for that news to be revealed. “if i find anything of note i’ll be sure to not tell you.”

She nodded and left.

Blue stared at the tubes again, and then got up to design a lock and something to muffle sound. He wanted to do this right. It was what the kids deserved—what he wanted to give them.

The plan to save Gaster would have to wait.

 

* * *

 

A few days’ time was all it took for Blue to outfit the room well enough. He made sure both _subjects_ were stable—but the word struck him like a bad taste.

“naw, i can’t call them subjects…” Even though the second one had been a control case, Blue was solidly aware that both of the children would have sentience and aspects of both parents, though the control case one would certainly be more like Gaster himself, having much much more of his influence than Blue’s own.

When Blue thought to name the children, he initially drew a blank. It hadn't been something he'd thought he'd had to do, honestly. After wracking his brain for a few hours, he recalled a conversation from what felt like ages ago.

Gaster had admitted once that he’d changed his name when he took the job as Royal Scientist. It had been a joke at first, but no one got it. When Blue finally coaxed Gaster’s full name from him, he’d rolled around for a while, contemplated calling his lover “Wing Dingus” among other things, but decided to settle for asking why, of all things, he’d name himself after the nonsensical font amalgamated with one of the most boring fonts Blue could imagine.

After the initial offense, Gaster explained that it was because he frequently used the font as a simple cipher. He said Toriel knew the majority of his ciphers from the war, so he’d been in need of another, if for no other reason than so he could talk to himself without being judged. As for how he could _speak_ in a font... he'd certainly found a way to. Blue couldn't really replicate it.

As Blue stared at the cipher, he summoned to mind what fonts he could name these children after. Sadly, he couldn’t really remember very many of them, so the only ones that sprung to mind were the ones that humans made such a big deal of cringing at.

“well, it fits, right? heh, if my friends saw this… they’d be cringing their asses off and shaming me for premarital sex or whatever.” He chuckled at that and moved closer to the tubes to see the tiny forms. The bone structure of the first subject reminded him of himself, whereas the second one looked much more delicate.

The first one perpetually smiled, and Blue smiled back. “why not comic sans?” He muttered. “heh, i see why gaster did this. it’s kinda funny to have a joke like that… one that no one else around you is privy to.”

He turned to the second one and wondered if he should call him Dings Jr, or something, but Blue had always hated that shit, personally. As quaint as it was to name a child after a dead parent, it just… didn’t feel right. It felt unoriginal—especially since Blue was confident that Gaster could come back, if just a couple of variables would work out.

After a moment, Blue patted the tube with the second child in it. “papyrus it is.”

He left his sanctioned private area of the lab to explore for a while, grabbing blankets and a few hospital gowns for the children until he could find something more **suit** able.

With the entire lab at his disposal, it was a shame he only kept the one room private, but he didn’t want to arouse the queen’s suspicion. If she made a move to hurt his children at any point in her miserable, frigid life, Blue would take it upon himself to remind her. **_You don’t fuck with someone’s children._** After all, that was the point of her little crusade, right? “Oh, humans killed my baby!” Ha, well… Blue nearly vibrated with the anger of his imagined scenario.

Blue toyed with the idea of getting in touch with Gaster’s buddies. As far as he knew, between Grillby and Muffet, he could definitely take care of these kids, no problems. They seemed to like Blue well enough anyway.

Even better, if he could get word to Asgore… maybe he could escape to the ruins to take care of the kids. Fuck, Asgore would have a fit! Blue could imagine him dancing around excitedly at the news of having two grandkids.

Blue wiped at his eyes, flinching at the sting of the cracks in his head. Goat-dad’s forte was definitely not healing magic. Or was it Goat- _gramps_ now? Blue smiled into his hand and sighed. Maybe the monsters would help him out. He could only hope.

 

* * *

 

 

Grillby did indeed stop by, to express his condolences. Blue hadn’t really understood just how… _off_ Grillby was. Blue mused that the war had certainly took its toll on him. The deep bond Blue shared with Gaster allowed him to understand the flame monster, as they talked about things that they really didn’t want Toriel to overhear.

“can i swear you to secrecy, grillbz?”

The monster nodded. “I keep watch over all the veterans. Gaster was one of them.”

“huh, so that’s why you stayed in hotland?”

“They’re my family. I’ve lost too many of them already… if any of them wake up, I don’t want them to be alone.” He looked around. “Also, not a word of my visit here to the Queen.”

Blue hitched an eyebrow and winced at the pain. “like i’d tell that bitch the time of day?”

He laughed. “She still has my respect… When you know someone for so many centuries, watch them grow, it’s hard to truly hate them… That being said… I can’t… forgive her for killing Gaster. Regardless of the circumstances.”

“is that why you gave up being captain?”

He shook his head. “I just don’t want to fight any more. I understand Asgore a little better…”

Blue nodded. “he had the right idea.” He looked at Grillby again, sternly. “if i show you this, though, you can’t breathe a word to anyone about it.”

He cocked his head, smiling widely, cinders roiling behind his lips as he suppressed a chuckle. “You underestimate my ability to be silent.”

“i really must, because you never shut up around me.” He teased and got up, leading Grillby deeper into the lab. He clutched the edge of a sheet he’d draped over the children’s incubators, and tugged it. It didn’t budge and Grillby laughed again, grabbing the sheet and yanking it off for the smaller man.

His smile was erased when he realized what he was looking at. Blue watched the emotions flit across Grillby’s face, usually so stoic but now. “I… You and Winoc…?”

“before she killed him, we had been working on this. wanted to know if humans and monsters could reproduce. if the resulting creature would be able to pass through the barrier.” Blue frowned. “i want to do right by them. they have souls, right?”

Grillby nodded. “I never imagined this would be possible.” His expression blank, he continued to stare at the two skeletons hovering in the incubator. “Will they be getting enough magic to sustain them?”

Blue nodded. “i’ll… uh… do the best i can. i still, y’know… have a bit of gaster with me, i guess. maybe it’ll be enough to…” He slumped. “i don’t know. i really don’t, but i gotta try. if there’s any chance that he can have a family to come home to, that’s what i want.”

“What do you mean?” Grillby asked, brow creasing. “What do you mean by ‘come home to’?”

“i’m bringing him back, grillbz. he showed me something he’d been working on from ages ago… and i think i can use it to bring him back to us. i just need his dust, and if i trick the royal icicle into bringing it to me…”

Grillby nodded. “If there’s anything I can do to help, say the word.”

“i’m going to need to get ahold of muffet, and if possible, asgore. toriel still intends to kill me, you know. after i train the next royal scientist.”

Grillby shook his head disdainfully. “She didn’t used to be like this.”

“i honestly don’t care. she’s a cunt.” Blue took a breath. “with all due respect, of course.”

Grillby chuckled nervously. “Indeed. Did you need help with anything?”

“maybe an escape plan for the kids if all doesn’t go well. as long as they’re safe, i don’t care.”

Grillby crackled with mirth. “It’s strange. I can understand what Gaster found in you.” He tapped the glass of the frail-looking one, the one that resembled Gaster most. “You know how to contact me. I’ll send word to Muffet. I’ll tell her to smuggle her supplies over, too. You’ll need more than hospital gowns and thin scratchy blankets.” He nodded to the stack of meager fabric, and headed for the door. “Take care of them.”

Blue waved him off and then sat down, staring at the children for a long moment before retreating to his cot. The silence was deafening, and everything felt so empty. Unbearably so. Blue could feel the space around him, and it felt like there was supposed to be something there.

He tried to ignore the urge to look at the desk in the room. He tried to ignore the little voice in his heart that insisted that Gaster would be coming to bed soon after he finished the day’s notes. It just… didn’t feel real. The reality that Gaster was gone felt like a lie. The cruelest lie he could imagine—to the point of hilarity.

Blue hugged himself and tried not to flinch at the salt of his tears burning the never-healing wound beneath his left eye.

 

* * *

 

Blue was surprised to find Muffet at his doorstep with two arms full of bottles of liquor of varying strength and intimidation factor. Behind her, Grillby beamed, holding a nigh-literal ton of groceries. They forced their way into Blue’s space and got to work. Muffet set up the tiny table. Shot glasses, chairs, and three modest baskets of food. After a moment’s hesitation, she put a garbage can next to the chair Blue assumed was his. "Just in caaase~! Ahuhuhuhu!" She sang softly.

Blue's stomach growled. He’d forgotten to eat again that day.

Grillby, meanwhile, was throwing things out of the fridges, occasionally making noises of mild disgust. Finally, he reared to jokingly snap at Blue. “You’ll be taking care of children in this place, you must be more responsible!”

Muffet tipped a bottle of human whiskey straight back and drank roughly half of it. “Responsible!” She emphasized, wiping her mouth with one hand while using two more to beat on the table in punctuation.

Blue laughed and they all sat down. Grillby took out a deck of playing cards and dealt them out. Over the next hour he discovered that out of the three of them, Grillby actually had the worst poker face. Fed and drunk, Grillby and Muffet began bombarding Blue with absolutely terrible parenting advice.

“dude, that doesn’t work for humans.” Blue asserted. “fire is bad for babies! i mean, _sentient_ fire couldn’t be that bad, but _fire_ -fire. naw, man.”

“They aren’t human, though!” Grillby reminded. “Fire is very good for the soul.”

Muffet laughed. “And if they misbehave, threaten them that I’ll bring my pet over to babysit. Or that I’ll tie them up to the ceiling until they behave.”

“terrible idea. they’ll get eaten, and if they’re anything like i was as a kid, being suspended in the air will sound like a reward rather than a punishment. just sayin.”

The terrible advice continued, and Blue finally broke. “okay, guys what the fuck?”

“What?” Muffet gestured with a few of her hands, too drunk for the motions to be as fluid and graceful as they usually were.

“seriously, how the hell did you guys grow up to think that’s okay?”

They exchanged uncomfortable glances and then looked back at Blue apologetically. “Sorry.” Grillby muttered. “I suppose we are a bit old-fashioned.”

“how old-fashioned are we talking here, though?”

Grillby spoke again. “I… am roughly twenty years older than Gaster.”

Blue tried to remember how old Gaster had been. Hundreds, he knew... but the exact _number_ of centuries eluded him.

Muffet raised one of her hands. “Following that logic… if my maths is correct...”

Grillby shook his head. “She’s roughly thirty years younger than me. Her aunt was in my division during the war.” He looked like he wanted to say more, the liquor making him freer with his feelings.

Muffet looked somber. “My maths were incorrect.”

Grillby chuckled. “Need you any assistance getting home? I think you need sleep.”

She shook her head violently, becoming just as violently dizzy from the action. “I’m not a kid anymore, Uncle Ghayth!”

He inclined his head. “Be that as it may, you should get home, and I’d feel much better if I knew you’d get home safe.”

She nodded at last and got up. “Fine.” With a groan she went to the door, stopping and turning sloppily. “Aughh I forgot to bring my thiings! I’ll be back after clooosing tomorrrrrooow.” A look of horror crossed her face. “Hhhhhhhhhhhuu, I have to run the café tomorrow.” She cradled her head. “Oh noooo.”

Blue couldn’t help but chuckle. “we figure this stuff out in the next few days, okay? i… really want to let them out.”

The two of them nodded. Grillby crackled. “We’ll have a small party. I’ll supply the food if Muffet can do fittings.”

She nodded. “I’ll do everything!” She cried out enthusiastically. “Oh, I’m so happy! Children! So rare~!”

Blue laughed. “do you prefer them **medium** or **well done**?”

She pointed two of her hands at him. “I don’t understand that reference but I _appreciate_ it!”

He didn’t have the heart to tell her it wasn’t a reference. He waved his friends off and retreated to the room where his children (he was really starting to enjoy that phrase, even if it scared the hell out of him) slept peacefully, dreamlessly, in the room where he’d drug his cot.

Maybe he’d sleep better with some semblance of company.

He’d start working on making beds for all of them in the morning.

 

* * *

 

Over the next few days, heaping piles of fabric would appear in the storage room. Blue only noticed when he went to check for things he could use to build furniture.

The night before the “Release Party,” Grillby showed up with a non-descript bottle of what Blue assumed was alcohol.

“I wanted to talk to you about something. Since you know very little about Gaster and his family, it might be insightful.”

Blue was grateful. _Any_ information would be useful, with how jittery he was getting. Grillby poured two shots of the alcohol, gave Blue a brief warning, and the two of them sat to drink in comfortable peace for a while.

At last, Grillby spoke. “Centuries ago, when Asgore and I were mere guardsmen, Gaster and his family came from overseas. I… never asked from where exactly. It… was a sort of unspoken agreement at the time. The things we saw in the Old World were not worth remembering.” He paused and his flames flickered briefly in embarrassment.

“My apologies. I digress. They came from overseas. Gaster was known as Winoc, and he had two siblings. A burly, hellcat of a sister named Adilet. She was justice incarnate, and had the ability to pass judgment. She eventually became my second in command. Narrow-minded at times, stubborn to a fault… and she couldn’t understand humor or sarcasm to save her life. However, she was quite possibly the most steadfast of friends and guardians we had ever had.”

“what happened to her, if you don’t mind?”

“Killed in combat. Her entire unit was wiped out when we were fleeing the Foothold for Mt. Ebott.”

 _ebott?_ “huh, we call it something else nowadays, grillbz.”

He nodded. “I’m not surprised. Many things change over time. The world above has forgotten us… and I fear that it is for the best.”

Blue couldn’t argue. If a human could be beaten for what gender he preferred to fuck, being a different species with a totally alien makeup and culture… he could only imagine the senseless prejudice and violence that would follow.

Grillby sighed and went on. “Winoc’s other sibling was called Zorion. He… well, they were extremely charismatic. Secretive. I had ideas that they were Winoc’s foremost spy—oh, I failed to mention that Winoc was our spymaster, didn’t I? Anyhow, Zorion was nearly as short and non-threatening as you. However, when the fighting raged into his area, I realized that I’d underestimated him, just as I’d once underestimated Winoc. My understanding is that skeletons are natural combatants with a talent for dodging.”

There was a wry tilt to his smile, Blue noticed. “you sound kinda bitter.” Blue remarked.

“I once sparred with Winoc, before he and I…” He blushed a bit. “Ah, well, I had asked him to prove to me he could survive if I was gone, and so I attacked him. At first, I wasn’t serious, but I became frustrated. He… astounded me in a most infuriating way.” His tone was reverent, and Blue wondered briefly if it was merely surprise or if that was what had attracted the fire monster to Gaster in the first place.

Grillby continued. “I gave it everything I could and he avoided every attack. When I ran out of energy, he… just patted my shoulder and told me to come back and try again any time.” That bitterness returned and Blue couldn’t help but laugh.

“you mean he used to have a sense of humor?”

“Before his family began dying, yes.” Grillby said. It wasn’t a harsh statement, just a nonchalant remark. “Zorion was in love with Muffet’s aunt, Jiyu. They had bonded deeply. At the time, monsters bonded to become stronger and… for hope’s sake. This was different. But… Jiyu, and a few others, had been captured by the humans and…”

He looked away, mouth pressed into a thin line, the flames of his tongue raging. “Zorion and one other who was fleet of foot left in the dead of night. Zorion had the companion witness their acts and report back to me and Winoc…”

“what happened?”

“Zorion killed the monsters who were taken prisoner and were being tortured, mercifully. They were in no shape to return home, especially in secret. Jiyu was the last, and they fell together. It… wasn’t much peace, but it was… an easier burden to bear knowing that… they had been together at the end.”

Blue felt cold. “how did gaster handle it?”

“Well, neither of us were much for words before that point, but… after that point, there was very little comfort in speech. So many of our friends were gone. _Too_ many. There was so little mirth left in our ranks. Just rage, sadness… hopelessness. There was no escaping our downfall, we began to see. And it only got worse from there.”

He clammed up for a moment. “But… my point had been… skeletons can live for a great number of centuries before they succumb to old age. I believe Winoc’s father had lived for nearly a millennium. He was very wise… frighteningly powerful.” He paused again. “And if the four of them were any indication of what you are to face… I can only wish you luck. They will be madly intelligent, and I cannot begin to tell you how comforting it is… to see they will be well loved.”

“i’m sure they’ll love you as an uncle, too.” Blue looked at his shotglass for a moment. “you know… humans don’t live forever.” A humorless snort, “especially with the queen of hearts bleating for my head on a fucking platter.”

Grillby nodded. “When the time comes, Muffet and I will do our best. I… will try to speak with Asgore… but you must understand…”

“i know. i can only hope one day he’ll… have enough guts to stand up to her and come back. the underground needs him. hell, it would solve nearly _all_ of my problems if he took over.”

Grillby couldn’t argue with that. The bottle was empty. The night was aging, and he really needed to get home, if only to prepare for the next day. “Get some rest, my friend.”

Blue waved his concern off and stumbled to his cot. “lock the door on your way out. don’t want the kids to be discovered by the royal bitch.”

Grillby dusted off his dapper clothing and made for the door. He knew better than to ask Blue to keep his disrespect of the queen to a minimum. He honestly couldn’t hold it against him. Though the physical aspect of the relationship had ended long ago, their friendship had persisted. Grillby could barely stand the fact that Gaster was gone—and at the hands of the girl he’d protected for so many years. He was torn but unable to confront his feelings of betrayal and grief.

The children would be a welcome distraction.

 

And as Blue lay awake, looking at the boys (he was sure, for some reason, that they were both boys), he repeated their names with a smile. “g’night, kiddos. see ya in the morning.”


	2. BIRTH

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BIRTH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for your suggestions! Keep 'em coming, because I'm having way too much fun with this.
> 
> CREDITS:  
> Babyproofing part one: butnobodycame  
> Babies On Fire: Mysterious_Girl
> 
> The next chapter will have a lot more of the suggestions! Check the end notes to see what may be in store!

Early morning, Blue woke up. In that blissful haze somewhere between waking and sleep, when the world felt fuzzy and malleable, as he glanced up from his pillow he saw pinpricks of light looking back at him. Icy blue, unfocused, searching for movement through the haze of the liquid keeping him aloft in the tube.

Blue was staring into his child’s eyes.

The resulting scream was louder than any utterance Blue could recall since his head injury. “SANS HOLY _FUCK_!”

Blue was up, floundering. The eyes followed his tracks, he noticed, and Blue felt fear eat at him. How could he keep them in there any longer? What if he wasn’t ready? _He was not ready for this!_

A knock on the door changed to desperate attempts to wrench it open. “Blue?! I heard screaming!”

“one of them is awake, muffet! HELP I’M NOT READY FOR THIS!” His voice cracked and he began coughing. “oh god,” he choked, hands shaking as he tried and failed multiple times at opening the door for his friend.

Muffet edged her way in and grabbed Blue’s shoulders with her two unburdened hands. “Calm down. They can wait a few more minutes. Grillby’s on his way.”

“but what… what if they’re ready? what if staying in after they’re ready will—”

“Blue, get a hold of yourself! This is disgraceful!” She said, letting go of him and turning to put her burdens down on the table. Sewing supplies.

Blue jolted and nodded gravely. “you’re right.” He paced for a moment, still not calming down. “gah! what do _skele-babies_ even eat? can they have milk? does the underground even _have_ milk?!”

“Blue!” Muffet whinged. “Please calm down you’re scaring me.”

He looked back at her, eyes wide. “ _is there milk?!_ ”

“Yes?”

“ **i n e e d m i l k.** ”

She sighed in defeat. “If I go and get you some milk, will you try not to hurt yourself while I’m gone?”

“no promises but i’ll try.”

That would have to be good enough, she mused. For now.

 

When she got back, though… “Blue, what is this all over the floor?!”

“spray rubber.” He replied without looking up, rummaging in a drawer recklessly, sending things flying out of it. Instead of clattering to the floor, pens and other tiny instruments would bounce erratically off the ground.

“ _Why?!_ ” She gaped at the small, absolutely mad human.

“i have _children!_ with _child bones!_ they need to be protected!” He finally found the industrial-sized roll of duct tape he was looking for and crowed his raspy laughter, running past Muffet to the small kitchen-area.

“Blue, stop! Quit duct-taping the fridges shut!”

“but…!”

“No, seriously, _stop!_ ”

“what if they get into the fridge and freeze to death?!”

“THEY’RE SKELETONS THAT’S THE LEAST OF YOUR WORRIES!” She screamed, nigh hysterically.

“geez, muffet, calm down. there are kids in the house.” He winked at her, shrugging languidly, that infuriating grin on his face.

She gaped at him again, and then thrust the milk at him before he could duct tape the last fridge shut. The front entrance to the lab was opening, and Muffet stalked off to find Grillby, who was at least slightly more sane than Blue was at the moment.

Or so she’d hoped.

He looked so harried, and Muffet realized it was because he was overburdened. She grappled the box in his hands. “Oh! A cake!” She beamed at the djinn as he shifted his hold on the other dishes he’d brought. “I’m impressed you brought a—”

She looked through the transparent lid and froze, mid-sentence. Grillby noticed and wryly explained. “I used sprinkles to make it less intimidating…”

Suddenly, the morning was too much for her. This was the final straw. She began laughing. She even had to steady herself against the wall with three of her arms.

“I’m sorry. I was in a hurry. Quit laughing.” He clipped, pushing past her toward the room that Blue, even now, was desperately trying to baby-proof in more and more ridiculous ways.

Muffet glanced at the cake again and let out another howl.

 

* * *

 

Grillby had seriously underestimated how much work goes into decorating a cake. Baking it had been easy enough, he just hadn’t anticipated the challenge he would face in making the cake suitable—

He cursed in the ancestral way, then glanced around to see if anyone had heard him.

He looked back to see that the icing was melting quickly in his hands and he cursed again, louder, as he fumbled, dripping it all over the top of the cake. This was fine, he could work with this.

_He could do this!_

He couldn’t do this.

He couldn’t get it to be smooth! Every attempt failed, and now he was absolutely covered in sticky syrupy goodness. How did Muffet stand this?

With a growl, he grabbed the baggie of icing and used it to hastily scrawl across the cake. He hadn’t put any planning into what it would say, though… When he finished, he cringed at how wretched it looked. He looked around and saw a canister of multi-colored, oddly-shaped sprinkles and grabbed a handful and threw them on the cake as quickly as he could before they, too, could melt.

He looked at the other dishes and realized that he didn’t have enough arms to carry everything that he needed to. For a moment he agonized over whether to call someone up to help him—but there would be no explaining the poor excuse for a cake that even now he was hiding in the confines of a box.

As he skillfully stacked the hot stoneware dishes upon his left arm, he grappled the cake with his right arm, hoisting it away from his body to avoid further damage—but he knew already. He was the harbinger of this apocalypse-cake.

Let its arrival be foretold for ages.

 

* * *

 

Blue calmed down enough to eat the cake, commending Grillby on the accurate moniker on it.

The djinn actually looked a bit proud of himself for a moment, even though Muffet was trying desperately to stifle her cackling into a polite giggle.

“as much fun as it is to eat cake while my son—” His eyes widened and he pointed at the barely-visible tubes in the adjacent room. “ _sons_. plural! they’re _both_ awake now ohmygodi’mnotreadyforthis…” He took a few deep breaths. “where was i?” He looked at his friends, forks poised over slices of cake, gazes focused on him as he steadied his breathing.

“oh yeah. as much fun as it is to eat this cake while my sons stare at us with those adorably terrifying cow eyes, or lack thereof… maybe we could hurry this up so we can let them out?”

“I was wondering about that, actually.” Muffet remarked, a sly grin on her face. “You’re so short~! Ahuhuhuhu, how are you going to get them out of there?”

Ignoring the comment about his height, which almost always sent him into a **tiny** rage, he explained his idea. “that’s easy. we drain the fluid, you spin a web and drop me down there. i pass them up, you guys swaddle them in cloth. and then i cry for a few hours and have a panic attack.”

Muffet sighed in defeat, but was grinning. “Fits the rest of the day so far, honestly.”

Grillby nodded. “I suppose I’ll be swaddling the tiny bundles?”

Blue was silent for a moment. “no. you’ll set them on fire.”

Grillby sputtered with laughter. “Of course not!”

The three of them had gotten up, cake forgotten for the moment, gravitating to the room where the two children floated. Blue pointed up at Grillby indignantly. “don’t give me that shit, you flaming bastard. i know better, you’ll set them on fire and they’ll cry and…”

“Blue, I don’t know how to tell you this… so I’ll just be blunt. _I fucked Gaster._ Skeletons are _immune to magical fire_. They will not be harmed by my flames. In fact, I have been told that the heat is quite calming!”

Blue hadn’t heard a word of that. He was staring at the children. Sans stretched out in the liquid—in a manner that made Blue think of “hug me pleeeaase?”

Muffet was snorting most ungraciously now. “Oh, lord I need a drink.” She murmured at last.

Blue began draining the tubes and stared at his children with the fondest expression as the fluid levels lowered slowly. The tension in the room was climbing, and Blue was nearly vibrating from his excitement. Or was it the excessive amount of frosting from the cake? Was he going into a sugar induced coma?

No one knew, and at the moment, no one could bring themselves to care.

Grillby’s foot slipped a bit as he went further into the room, but he didn’t think much of it; he was too busy studying the intelligent eyes of the one Blue called Papyrus. The one that was quite possibly Gaster’s spitting image.

Muffet began hastily working on weaving her webs, and then unceremoniously hefted Blue directly to the ceiling, where he stuck to it. He grinned down at the lids to the tubes. “great. now let me down.”

Muffet chuckled but Blue was stuck firmly to the ceiling. “haha, muffet. really. let me down.”

With a sigh, she climbed up there and pried him out of the webs, lowering him down on a silken rope the width of her wrist. Blue wanted to ask if they were made from her purple magic, but he was afraid she’d say no, and that the webs were made like surface-spiders made them.

With a shudder that had (mostly) nothing to do with the day’s anxieties, Blue found himself being lowered slowly toward the first tube. He took the lid off and dropped it on the floor, where it bounced off the spray-rubber coating and buried itself deeply in the wall with a loud _crash!_ having skipped right over the top of Grillby’s head, missing by perhaps a few inches.

The fire djinn, in his terror, fell on his perfect ass (not that Blue had been looking, he swears) and bounced a bit, letting out a sound akin to a popping fire followed by a pained hiss.

Blue didn’t have time to care, as he was looking down at the child with the large blue eyes, who was kneeling and shivering. And coughing. Blue made what he intended to be soothing noises as he descended like a proverbial angel-dad.

To Blue’s ultimate joy, Sans let out a strange noise and reached up at him. Blue clutched him under his arms and hefted him up, cradling the small child to his chest and feeling tears prickle his eyes for a moment before he hoarsely cried out to Muffet to pull him back up.

She pulled him up and swung him closer to Grillby, who reached up and— “Blue, _let go_ so I can wrap him in a blanket.”

Blue let out a whine but finally complied. Only because he had another son to care for who was even now still shuddering, huddled in a ball while curiously observing everything around him. Without the liquid in the tube, he could see much better.

Blue faintly thought that that was a _lot_ of intelligence in the child’s eyes, but he was being hoisted up again, and then his thoughts were busy as he pried the lid off of that chamber. He dropped it over the opposite side, away from the rubber, and it let out a loud clatter against the floor.

Sans whimpered in Grillby’s arms, and so the djinn began rocking him and murmuring soothingly to him. The child’s eyes followed his short, stout father as he dropped into the other tube.

Papyrus stared up at Blue hesitantly. Blue motioned for him, smiling. A tense pause, and then Papyrus extended a single hand. Relieved, Blue tugged the delicate-looking skeleton to his feet. He was a bit taller than Sans, Blue noticed now. He would definitely grow to look just like Gaster.

Blue was hugging the child and crying now, and the child awkwardly grabbed back. Muffet began pulling them both up, and when they were all the way up, used two arms on the left to grapple Papyrus around the midsection and two arms on the right to do the same to Blue as she used her remaining two to lower all three of them to the ground.

Blue had been taking this remarkably well, considering his aversion to heights.

Well, now that he thought about it…

 _fuck_.

Muffet swaddled Papyrus in a blanket and went to stand next to Grillby who was muttering disdainfully at the state of his suit and good shoes.

Blue immediately noticed why.

“grillby, why are there foot-shaped holes in my rubber?”

“IN YOUR WHAT?!” Muffet screamed, covering Papyrus’s ears with two of her now-free hands.

Calmly, Grillby replied to Blue. “Did you know that rubber has a melting point that’s remarkably close to my body temperature? You owe me for the ruined suit and shoes.”

“muffet calm down!” Blue griped.

“… Is there a foot kink you guys have that I don’t know about?” She remarked.

Blue stared at her in utter confusion for a moment. “ _oh!_ no. no, no. not that kind of rubber, muffet. the _floor!_ ” He shook a finger at her. “mind outta the gutter.”

Blue, now standing on his own two feet, looked up at the two monsters holding his children, safe, awake, and staring inquisitively around and down at him.

Suddenly, he felt very dizzy.

Even more suddenly, he was face down on the floor—and his head, upon hitting the rubber, bounced a good bit back up before connecting harshly with the tiled floor once again.

Muffet and Grillby exchanged worried glances and set about bathing and dressing the children.

Blue was okay. Not like he had a head injury or anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Childproofing part 2: Levitating Magic and the Troubles Therein. (Suggestions from butnobodycame and AspenWabbit)  
> Bathtime! (Suggestion from AspenWabbit)  
> *you got the stuff?: Aquiring Items for Babies 101. (Suggestion from butnobodycame)  
> Just *hanging out*: Muffet was serious, bud. (Suggestion from ThatOneNightmare)
> 
> Don't worry, guys, the other suggestions will be used, too! But I can only stuff so much into a single chapter ^.^  
> Please know I appreciate the amazing suggestions and support, and please feel free to continue to comment and give me suggestions!  
> Get ready, cuz the fluff machine is gonna kick into high gear starting now!

**Author's Note:**

> Can't get enough Blue? THAT'S GOOD BECAUSE I CAN'T EITHER HE'S SO FUN TO WRITE! (So is drunk Muffet)
> 
> Let me know your thoughts, and tell me what you want to see happen in the boys' childhood!
> 
> If you have any ideas or just want to enthuse with me about cute skelebabies, DROP ME A COMMENT HERE OR AN ASK ON TUMBLR! Don't worry, I don't bite, and Anons are welcome as well.  
> www.zaiyofics.tumblr.com


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